“Every negative feeling we hold stems from the lack of self- love.”
Paul Ferrini, THE 12 STEPS OF FORGIVENESS

Self-love is a vital part of good self-esteem. When we talk about loving ourselves and honoring our feelings, we are not implying this should take place at the expense of others, or in an egotistical manner. Rather, we want to respect ourselves, because all human beings are valuable and precious, including us. Only we know what decisions and actions feel correct for us. Only we know how best to take care of our physical and emotional well-being.
What then keeps us from listening to our wise inner guidance and following its direction?
When we feel negative about our life situation, we can become alert to the perceptions we are creating inside our mind. This negative view of our circumstances will cause the emotions we are experiencing. Feelings of lack of love are usually always the basis for our unhappy perceptions.
Paul Ferrini offers some advice that can be very helpful in shifting us out of negative emotions:

  • Recognize the feeling.
  • Do not justify or condemn the feeling.
  • Allow the feeling to speak to you.
  • Honor the felling. It has an internal communication for you.
  • Take complete responsibility for your feeling.
  • Refuse the inclination to make anyone else responsible for it.
  • As you feel the feeling, you can see how you may not be very loving to yourself or another in that moment.
  • Stay with the feeling, allowing the message to sink in until the feeling begins to shift.

Ultimately, the missing love must be supplied from within us. That is why it is never helpful to blame others or conditions outside of ourselves.
If we can remember to choose love for others, and ourselves, we are making the healthiest choice for all!

“The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven. It is twice blessed: It blesses him that gives and him that takes…”
– William Shakespeare