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“In life we do not attract what we want, but rather what we are…Each relationship holds an invitation for us to decide who we are.  The challenge is always for us to choose the grandest, most loving vision of ourself!”

– Dr Wayne Dyer,Ph.D.

Many times life’s circumstances and personal relationships can cause us to believe we are being victimized, or at least unfairly treated.  It is often difficult in the moment to realize that we, ourselves, are actually helping to create this point of view.  However, this is a truth that can be understood better, once we examine the perceptions we are choosing to hold.  These perceptions begin from the way we decide to think about our experiences. Negative thoughts can color our reality in many unhealthy and unhappy ways.

Real power for change comes from within…

When we continue to interpret our life circumstances from a victim mentality, we create a drama or a chaotic story in our head.  This drama is often not unlike the tiresome soap operas playing out on the TV.  Indeed, as on TV, a false egocentric myth is being created along with many false perceptions.  These can produce havoc in our relationships, our finances, our health, and in other areas in our life.  “No one but us has the power to change our thoughts and feelings,” writes Psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung.  This can be really great news for each one of us!

“My most important task is to stand guard at the entrance of my mind, lest toxic thoughts enter there, and I act upon them.”

 – His Holiness The Dali Lama

Be aware of the drama you are creating…

Psychology teaches us that our thoughts and perceptions create our emotions. These thoughts and feelings influence the actions we decide to take.  From this, we can understand how much power our thoughts have over our lives.  Upon further examination, we see how self-questioning and self-awareness opens up the possibility for personal growth.   The first step is to take an honest look at what unhealthy thoughts and feelings we are creating within our mind and body.  Once we courageously look at our interpretation of our story, we can choose a kinder, more loving and forgiving perception of the event or person.

Choose a new vision and peace of mind…

As we contemplate our victim-based thoughts with new inner vision, our internal chaotic story will start to shift.  We can begin to be more flexible and tolerant in our thinking.  Slowly, our emotions will feel calmer as well.  A new and healthier perception can emerge, one that carries less negativity, pain, and discord.  No longer do we need to interpret our situation as a victim- drama. Our physical body and emotional body will benefit from a healthier, more peaceful mental attitude.

Helpful exercises for self awareness & for healing…

  1. How have I created the “identity” of a victim?
  2. What specific thoughts and perceptions are keeping me the victim?
  3. I am now willing to change my mind, and no longer see certain individuals or situations as blocks in my life.  (Describe the changes you are willing to make.)
  4. What new powerful attitudes and positive actions are you ready and willing to adopt now?

“You are what you think about, and what you think about is continuously creating you.”

-Dr. Albert Einstein, Ph.D.      


“Never whine!  Whining lets a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood.”

 -Maya Angelou

Interested in how a life coach can help you? Contact me and let’s set up a time talk today!